King’s ‘Children of the Corn’ Still Searching for Credible Big-Screen Version

Creepy kids are all the rage in 21st-century horror, which means a new “Children of the Corn” adaptation was inevitable.

The original Stephen King short story has yet to yield a single horror classic, but it’s not for lack of trying.

The new “Children of the Corn,” given a 2020 time stamp but releasing now, isn’t a remake. The story’s events are very different from the 1984 original, itself a lackluster effort that inexplicably jump-started eight sequels/extensions (and a 2009 remake).

It’s more of an attempt to squeeze the last ounce of juice from the King short story. What’s left at this point is genre pulp, and little else.

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A small Nebraska town is in its death throes. Its once-thriving corn business is gone, broken by promises of politicians who scattered rather than face the consequences.

That leaves smart teen Bo (Elena Kampouris) eager to am-scray, a move that threatens to break her young brother’s heart. Bo thinks the news could shame the hamlet back to life, exposing the corruption that led to its downfall.

Meanwhile, townsfolks gather with a new plan to make everything all right, but the area children are distractingly attached to the corn crops. Those kids are creepy from the jump, led by the cartoonishly  wicked Eden (Kate Moyer). Their idea of fun and games could get somebody hurt, and there’s few parents around to lasso them in.

The film’s modest FX budget is plain to see, but “Corn” deserves credit for applying real-world concerns into the mix. The townsfolk are hurting, and bitter, and that’s palpable during the first act.

Kampouris delivers a dutiful Final Girl-style character, but no one else leaves a mark beyond her and Moyer’s Eden.

The film, wrapped in 2020 but allegedly shelved due to the pandemic, boasts a choppy final cut suggesting plenty was left behind. It’s hard to see how injecting any of the discarded elements could salvage the fright-free affair.

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The film’s lack of depth robs it of some much-needed texture. The villagers are uniformly one-note, mocking the children early on before regretting that tone. That leaves the bloodshed, which is considerable but rarely sends our pulses afire.

A vague, but undeniable, slam against the faithful also makes its way into the saga. Shocking.

Much of “Children of the Corn” makes no sense, a distracting element that means there’s less tension required. Bo seems like a capable heroine, but she keeps missing chances to do something about the threat in play.

HiT or Miss: “Children of the Corn” has drifted further away from the source material, leaving a generic shocker without enough ties to Stephen King’s imagination.

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Operation Fortune: Ruse de Guerre Review: Guy Ritchie & Jason Statham Reach Top Form

Guy Ritchie shoots a bullseye in a globetrotting action-comedy loaded with fantastic characters. Operation Fortune: Ruse de Guerre has Cary Elwes and Jason Statham portraying British black ops agents. They assemble a crackerjack team to hunt down a stolen weapon with mysterious capabilities. It's a race to the finish as a duplicitous private contractor, lecherous arms dealer, and blackmailed movie star complicate their efforts. Witty dialogue accompanies bullets and bone-crushing beatdowns as everyone gets to know each other, and the charismatic cast keeps the adrenaline flowing when the adventure runs a tad long.


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A Little White Lie Review: Little Chemistry in Literary Rom-Com

A depressed alcoholic handyman masquerades as a reclusive writer while trying to woo a university professor. A Little White Lie attempts romance and comedic mockery of the literary world. It does neither well with an all-star cast that never clicks. The supporting characters are caricatures of academia and politically correct liberalism. They're not believable as fawning writer wannabes enthralled by a supposed genius author. The premise never takes hold which leads to the film plodding along.


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Liam Neeson Drops the Action, Misses the Mark in ‘Marlowe’

Neil Jordan’s “Marlowe” stars Liam Neeson as Raymond Chandler’s iconic detective, whose latest case is a missing persons assignment in which a mysterious femme fatale (Diane Krueger) hires Marlowe to find her vanished lover.

Along the way, Marlowe encounters a slew of wealthy Hollywood power players, potential suspects, and red herrings. The case allows Marlowe to mingle with those who have found stardom in the film industry and others who never achieved fame and are struggling to justify their place in the industry.

There are a lot of things I liked about Neil Jordan’s “Marlowe,” but I also struggle to remember I even saw the film, which is also an indication of how effective it is.

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Early on, someone notes how their conversation with Marlowe is “uninteresting,” which sums up the first 40 minutes. Jordan is clearly trying to recreate the feel of an old-fashioned pulp thriller mystery, but the start is dull and unpromising. Thankfully, things pick up in the second and third act, though the film never overcomes a major problem:

The miscast lead.

Neeson has starred in a flood of interchangeable, one-man-crusade action B-movies lately, though he’s still a tremendous actor. Recent performances in Martin Scorsese’s “Silence” (2016) and Steve McQueen’s “Widows” (2018) are major career highlights, though Neeson has spent too much time on vehicles with generic titles like “Honest Thief” and “The Ice Road.”

Re-teaming Neeson with Jordan, his “Michael Collins” (1996) director, would seem an ideal reunion, but Neeson doesn’t gel with the character. Misplaced audience expectations won’t help, as this isn’t an action movie, but Neeson simply lacks grit here, is too laid back and the entire film suffers as a result.

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Danny Huston has been cast as a wealthy sleaze and while he’s always good, it also serves as a reminder of how tremendous his father, John Huston, was playing a similar part in “Chinatown,” the movie “Marlowe” clearly wanted to be like.

Although most films never reach the heights of Roman Polanski’s 1974 masterpiece, Jordan’s own neo-noir, “The Crying Game” (1992) remains as much a perfect example of contemporary noir as his “Mona Lisa” (1986).

Truly, Jordan gets this genre, is unafraid of challenging his audience with an unreliable and unlikable protagonist and embraces the expected darkness and moral rot the material demands.

There’s a striking sequence here in which we see the inner workings of a secret, sordid club for the rich. Likewise, an arresting image of a fire that seems about to engulf all the artifice of moviemaking. The elements are in place but, as strong as Neeson is elsewhere and as much as his name is still a box office attraction, the actor was not right for this movie.

In a standout supporting role, Seana Kerslake steals a couple of scenes and Jessica Lange thoughtfully embodies a former actress who bitterly watches her life pass her by.

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Jordan and William Monahan’s screenplay isn’t based on a prior Raymond Chandler story but John Banville’s 2014 novel, “The Black-Eyed Blonde” (which should have been this film’s title). The character of Marlowe and the milieu have been done better.

Humphrey Bogart may remain the definitive incarnation of the character, though I still have fond memories of Powers Boothe playing the role in the polished, sordid HBO series, “Phillip Marlowe: Private Eye” (1983-1986).

The story offers intriguing echoes of “Mona Lisa,” which was also about a middle-aged man who uncovers a system of powerful men abusing women. A film of Jordan’s that this also reflect is “The Good Thief” (2002), which similarly sported a noir attitude that carried the film for a while, before vanishing from memory the moment you leave the theater.

Another movie this reminded me of was last year’s “Confess, Fletch,” the adult-minded revival of a dormant franchise. I enjoyed that film’s supporting cast and the snap of the dialog but was unconvinced by the lead.

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Both “Confess, Fletch” and “Marlowe” are rare multiplex options for grownups, but neither is as sharp or memorable as they should be.

I suspect we’ll see Phillip Marlowe on film (and for that matter, Irwin R. “Fletch” Fletcher) again. For Neeson and Jordan, it’s an admirable misstep, though I hope they collaborate again soon.

“Marlowe” has an affection for film noir and the production itself is impressive but, despite the efforts of the talent assembled, something’s missing.

Two Stars

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Perry Mason Season Two Review: The Murky Waters of Justice

Perry Mason returns with another bombshell case that divides Depression-era Los Angeles like an earthquake. The brooding lawyer finds himself knee-deep in a twisted maze of murder, sex, blackmail, and racial subjugation. Allies and enemies blend as the murky waters of justice shows no clear path forward. The banner ensemble cast explores a bleak time steeped in hidden lives and secret agendas. But fantastic character exposition, performances, and stellar production values are hindered by laborious pacing. The plot crawls along as several episodes struggle mightily to hold your attention. There are unfortunate lulls that require commitment to follow through the serialized plot.


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iMordecai Review: A Hefty Serving of Schmaltz

Judd Hirsch goes full shtick in a sweet but mawkishly sentimental tribute to heritage and family. iMordecai thrusts a retired Jewish plumber and painter into the modern world when his son buys him an iPhone. The digital embrace unleashes a new zest for life while also evoking memories of escaping the Holocaust as a child. iMordecai then adds a hefty serving of schmaltz with labored subplots that dilute the narrative.


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Enys Men Review: The Horror of Boredom

There's a reason why people joke about how nobody wants to hear someone else's dreams. They're personal experiences that often don't make a lick of sense to anyone else and can never truly be adequately communicated; they're something we pay therapists to listen to. In a way, though, a lot of art is like this — a person or a collective trying to tell people about their dream.


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